Are Russian Brides Scam / Anti Scam / Blacklist Ladies sites reliable?

Cute & Petite Russian Bride to be Janie from Paris, Russia

I have received several emails since starting my blog about Russian Women pointing to Russian Bride Blacklists, Anti-Scam Sites, Marriage Agency Scams, etc. Here I will do my very best to address all of your concerns.

Aren't all women in Russia scam artists that only want money? Absolutely not! In fact many of the individual women listed on russian women blacklists don't use Russian Dating Services at all, they use domestic dating sites and the places they ask for money to be sent to trace back to other countries like Nigeria and Lagos.

I saw the photo of a woman I have been chatting with on a russian woman blacklist, does this prove she a scammer? Remember, the majority of these scams take place outside of Russian dating services and international marriage agencies on domestic sites and are perpetrated by individuals not even located in Russia or Ukraine! A scam artist wouldn't be nearly as successful if they used a photo of themselves, so the photos they use are stolen from other sites on the web. Just because you see a woman's photo on one of these lists does not mean she is a scammer. In most cases scam artists won't even take the time to use the woman's correct name or physical attributes.

A Russian Bride Anti-Scam site said the service I am using can't be trusted, who should I trust? This as in other cases in life is where you are the ultimate judge. It should be kept in mind that most of these so-called "anti scam" sites that say they are looking out for the customer's best interest receive compensation from the sites they "recommend". You may find that one Russian Dating Site is highly recommended by one anti scam list is on the blacklist of another Russian bride scam site. Remember anyone can say whatever they want about a person, company or organization on the internet and that doesn't necessarily make it true. Judge the quality of a service by your own experiences and not what someone else who has an economic interest is paid to say.


Beautiful Beaming Brunette HotJulia from Nikolaev, Ukraine

So now you are asking yourself, so what do I do? Maybe some of the above has made you feel unsure of things, but never lose faith in yourself and your own good judgement. Trust yourself over anything he, she or I say. Here are some tips you should ALWAYS follow when seeking the love of a beautiful russian woman.

Never send a woman money! First understand that centuries of Russian culture have molded the women of Russia, Ukraine and other countries of the Former Soviet Union as fiercely proud and stalwart individuals. It is against their very nature to ask for a handout. To do so would be at a great personal price and injury to her pride. The Russian Soul is a complicated thing to explain, but part of being Russian is having a sense of pride in the people's will and ability to consistently triumph in the face of great adversity.

That being said, you should never send anyone money directly over the internet as it will most assuredly be a loan that will not be repaid. If you would like to treat a special Russian lady send her a gift of flowers, or for a show of stronger true affection send her a nice gift of a beautiful gold necklace, something she can wear daily and think of you. If you really are in love with a woman lavish her with attention and affection, not cash.

Be sure to use a service that allows you to validate your woman with live video. There is no better way to ensure the woman you are falling for is the woman she claims to be like viewing her live by webcam when you cannot be there in person. Understand that availability of internet connection in FSU is not the same as internet in the west, so most girls cannot afford to be online all the time, but if you find yourself seriously interested in a girl schedule a time when both you and she can be online together so you can see her in moving pictures. Don't waste your time with sites that only offer emails and nothing else.

Consider the source and take everything with a grain of salt. Remember that these sites are in business too and need to make money. Most of these Anti Scam and Russian Bride Blacklists reside on their own domains and they have to pay for hosting and bandwidth costs, etc. It is business for them. Why is site XYZ.com recommended over ABC.com? Maybe this month XYZ is paying more? Who knows! This is FACT: No one's opinion is more important than you're own. This is your journey to find happiness, don't take someone else's bitter pill.

Remember, you get what you pay for. If you choose to use a service to contact Russian women that doesn't provide a safe user environment for you to communicate you do so at your own risk. Price should be a factor when choosing a Russian bride dating site, but going somewhere that only shows you a photo and sells you the girl's contact information for a small fee of $10 to $15 is passing the burden and responsibility of facilitating communication and researching and validating ladies to you and is not interested in your relationship success.


Single Russian Redhead Ekaterin344 from Odessa, Ukraine

Contact the site itself with your concerns. Remember to also here keep in mind the person you will be talking to will have their own interests as well, but here are some questions you should ask if you don't feel comfortable with the Russian Woman Dating site you are using:

Do you validate your ladies by photo identification? - a good site will validate the women who use their service with the women directly or through the marriage agency the woman is using to access the internet and their online services.

Do you offer live video chat? - this is 100% the best way to validate the woman yourself short of meeting in person. Before you invest in a trip to Russia or Ukraine be sure to validate the women you would like to meet through live video chat over webcam. Anyone can type over a keyboard and anyone can chat over text only IM, but only the woman you are interested in can sit down and have a conversations with you on live webcam.

Do you have an anti-scam policy? - address your concers with the service directly. What is their policy / how do they adress the issue if a woman using their service asks a man for money? What measures do they have in place to protect you, their client?

I hope this helps you in your search for the beautiful Russian girl of your dreams. Finding happiness with a beautiful woman who's values match your own is possible.

Easter In Russia (It's probably not when you think)

Beautiful Kherson Bride to be Lita

Easter has already come to pass for most of us living in the west, but for women in Russia it is fast approaching. While the western world and Christians who's churches go by the Gregorian caldendar have already celebrated Easter in March, for people in the East and christian churches following the Julian calendar Easter falls on April 27th this year.

It can get confusing, especially as many Russian expatriots living in the west adjust to the western holidays. The division stems back from the 1500's when the Catholic church chose to adopt the newer Gregorian caldendar while Orthodox Eastern religions, mainly the Russian and Greek Orthodox churches, chose to remain on the Julian calendar. Also the Eastern Orhtodox Church mandates that Easter must follow the Jewish celebration of Passover in any given year, and that celebration is based on yet a third calendar!


Gorgeous Blue Eyed Elena from Kiev

Like in the West, though it is a very holy day, it is also a special time for family and friends to gather and appreciate one another's company. The typical Easter meal is a family affair and is usually a picnic held either with the congregation on the church grounds or held in the countryside with kinsmen. Some Russian women and their families gather in their family's dachas (summer cottages) and will spend the entire week there where they enjoy rich meals and eachother's company.

A typical Easter holiday greeting in Russia is Христос воскресе (Xristos voskrese) which means "Christ resurrected" / "Christ has risen". What joy I'm sure the special Russian lady you are talking to will feel when you greet her in person, by video chat, or by email with this traditional russian phrase on this wonderful holiday.

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To Know a Russian Woman you must come to Know Her Homeland

While communicating with a Russian lady it is important to remember her sense of cultural identity. Russian Women, by and large, are very proud of their nation’s history and the people who made it possible. Often you will hear ladies of russia speak romantically about the “Russian Soul”, a concept that speaks to the very heart of what it means to be Russian. It is because of this that I strongly advise all men seeking a Russian woman to learn both about her country and her local culture. Below are a few things to keep in mind when undertaking this process:


Beautiful Blue Eyed Nataly007

Where is she from?

It’s easy for someone from the west to view that everyone in Russia lives in same place, with same culture and history. The fact is there are around 47 different provinces located within Mother Russia herself, each with its own distinct cultural traits, not to mention all the other seperate and distinct nations of the former soviet union. Similar to the cultural differences of the many states of America or the many countries of the UK so are the many countires and territories of the FSU, each one with it's own unique history and cultural treasures. When you first begin chatting with a pretty russian girl, find out where she is from. This will give you a great starting point from which you can begin your conversations.

Conversing with a beautiful woman from Ukraine? Impress her with your knowledge of Swallow's Nest / Swallow's Castle.


See Swallow's Castle as the backdrop in THIS video on YouTube

Swallow's Nest (also known as Swallow's Castle), a landmark of Crimea, is one of the best-known and most highly photographed romantic castles near Yalta, Ukraine. It was built in 1912 in the Neo-Gothic style by the order of the German Baron Stengel and was designed by Russian architect A. Sherwood. Perched high upon Aurora Cliff the castle overlooks the Black Sea. It has served as many things over the years; it has housed several restaurants, a reading club, as well as served as a movie set on several occasions. It currently serves as a tourist attraction and houses "Lastochkino Gnezdo", one of the best italian restaurants in the region.

The more you get to know the beautiful russian lady you are interested in, the more you should want to know about the area she is from. It is great to do a little research yourself. By doing this, you’re not only educating yourself but you’re also showing an active interest in her culture. You will be surprised how happy she will be to know that you’re making an effort to learn about her native home.

This Saturday March 8th is International Women's Day

March 8th for Russia and other countries of the former soviet union is celebrated as International Women's Day and is a bigger holiday to women in Russia than Valentines Day and Christmas combined. On March 8th men show their appreciation to the special women in their life by giving them flowers, candies, and other gifts as tokens of their affection. If you have feeling for, or are working to impress a special russian lady- International Women's Day is it!


Beautiful Blonde Malena79

March 8 became an official holiday in Russia soon after the Russian Bolshevik Revolution in 1917, and remains popular to this day in the majority of countries of the former Soviet Union and Eastern Bloc.

International Women's Day is based on National Women's Day which was first held in the United States. The holiday was first proposed in 1910 by Clara Zetkin, an influential German socialist and a champion for women's rights. Zetkin's original intention was to call attention to women's contributions in the workforce and raise awareness for women's struggles for equal rights.

International Women's Day in Russia was initially intended to celebrate the achievements of women workers, who's protest for “bread and peace” was a key event leading to the success and support of the October revolution on 1917.

In present day Russia the holiday has for the most part shed it's original political overtones, and the focus has shifted to traditional chivalrous acts, similar to Valentines Day and Mother's Day in the west, where festivities include gift giving, taking ladies out to dinner, and men completeing all the housework and chores (or at least finding ways to make it so their special lady doesn't have to).

Other festivities across Russia include in Moscow's subway system congratulatory messages to women are be broadcast throughout the day on the Metro's public address system and in the city of Perm thousands of couples gather annually to attempt to break the world kissing record.

Don't let this Women's Day pass you buy- find a way to let your special russian lady know you love and cherish her. This is a very important day to send personal romanic messages, cards, flowers, candies, and other small gifts / tokens of your love.

Valentines Day in Russia: How Russian Women View Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is something still relativly new to Russians. St. Valentine's Day is traditionally a Roman Catholic holiday which is not recognised by the Russian Orthodox Church, so traditionally russians had no cause to celebrate it. Also the decades russian people spent isolated from western media influence during the Soviet Republic also attributed to the lack of popularity of Valentine's day in russian culture.

Another contrast between traditional and modern russian culture when it comes to the holiday is the actual expense of gifts. During the Soviet era, a box of chocolates (a traditional gift of love world wide) cost five rubles, an extravagance at a time when the cost was the equivalent of 39 loaves of bread.

Though not as popular as Woman's Day (March 8th) in Russia, Valentines day is recognised publically and is popular with younger generations in russia. Russian school children have been exchanging valentines cards in class for roughly the last two decades and in a recent poll conducted by the All-Russian Center for Public Opinion, a third of russian's questioned who answered they were in a relationship expressed that they had plans to celebrate Valentines Day with their loved one.

On Valentines Day the capital city of Moscow in Russia displays many prominent red and white decorations, as prominent as the flower carts which load their stalls with red and white flowers and gifts. Red roses are most traditional to give your special russian woman, but be sure that your bouquet contains an odd number of total flowers or you might wind up in the dog house (in russian culture giving an even number of flowers to a russian woman is considered both rude and bad luck- even numbers of flowers are ONLY for funerals).

Some other things to keep in mind when celebrating valentines day in Russia:

A typical greeting on Valentines Day is “Happy Valentine’s Day” or simply a “Congratulations”.

It is common to give a valentines greeting to everyone, not just your loved one, but co-workers, friends, and other people you know.

Russian women are expected to say it to russian girls and boys- but russian men are only to offer valentines wishes to women. In russian culture it is considered emasculate to congratulate or give well wishes to other guys.

It is also not common to share happy valentines greetings or congratulations with parents or family members. When this is done it is followed by the phrase “as they do in Europe”.

Usual gifts to give your beautiful russian woman on this day include chocolates, flowers, cards, stuffed animals, and other small gifts or tokens of affection. Usually men are the ones who give gifts to the ladies, russian women aren't required to give presents back, so it is considered a grand show of affection and consideration if they do.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!!!

Pros and Cons- what to expect from a Russian Woman

What you need to overcome:

There may (read: WILL) be a language barrier. The russian woman you fall in love with may or may not be fluent in english, and even then you can expect the occasional missunderstanding. Just as in western society "bad" can also mean good, in russia "expensive" doesn't as much mean costly as it means unaffordable or out of financial reach. Over time this will diminish, and with the help of english lessons it will not be the most difficult stepping stone, but it will be something that will require some time, effort, education and understanding from both parties.

You need to be prepared to visit her home country at least once. You cannot put a price tag on love but understand this is not a cheap process and there are some travel expenses involved with international romance. You should desire to meet any woman you would propose marriage to in person before doing so, but in addition it is a requirement of IMBRA (the international marriage broker act)if you are an American to obtain a K1 Fiance visa for your russian bride. I reccomend making several trips to your russian woman's home city to get to know her, her family and friends, and ensure this is the woman you would like to commit to.

You need to understand one of the primary goals for a russian woman is having children. If you are not planning on settling down and starting a family then perhaps a russian bride is not for you. While you may find women from russia and ukraine who do not wish to have children of their own, it will be a challenging task as these women will be few and far between. It is important that you understand a slavic woman views her children as an extension of herself and a true measure of her success as a member of society. This has been engrained in russian culture and society for hundreds of years and not something you can expect to change anytime in the forseeable future.

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What you get in return:

A woman of beauty who's interest you might not be able to attract or attain in western culture. Remember, what appears to be a woman of exceptional beauty by western standards is a woman of average appearance in Russia and former Soviet Union. These gorgeous russian women are very attainable and attracted to what you would consider an "average" man as in their home country they are also of "average" attractivness. Many of the common slavic features of Russian women are not as common in western culture and have come to be seen as beauty aesthetic for us overseas in North America and Europe.

Also Russian women work harder to keep up their appearances. This is not mere vanity but something cultrual that has been passed down for generations. It is deeply engrained in russian women that they present themselves properly and maintain their appearance to the best of their ability.

To be with a russian woman you will be with a woman who is not only attractive and feminine in looks, but one who has inner feminine beauty in her thoughts, desires, interests, and expectations of relationships and family. You will hear many russians talk of "russian soul". The soul of a russian woman is feminine, fragile, and full of love and life.

Life in the former soviet union is hard. There has been much social, cultural and economic turmoil in the last century. Women from russia are not spoiled, they already are accustomed to having to overcome great adverity in order to accomplish their goals. Because of this you are finding a woman who will stick by your side in good times and bad. A woman who will be your emotional rock or pillar of strength when you need her most.

If you seek a mate who is beautiful inside and out, who puts her husband, family and homelife above all else, a russian woman is the ideal bride for you. If this is what you seek you will find much success with a woman of the former soviet union and I wish you much luck in your search.

Meeting Your Ukrainian or Russian Woman for the first time

So you're going to meet your special russian lady for the first time, nervous about making a good first in-person impression? Don't worry, I've got you covered. Follow these tips below and you will be sure to be a smash hit.



These tips are good to read now, even if you are not yet at this stage in your relationship, so you will know what to expect and will be prepared when that day comes. It is important to understand a little bit of russian custom, russian manners, and russian etiquette as well as a touch or russian supersition (it's more important than you think).

1. Dress Nice. This is your first date / meeting, you want to present yourself properly. You don't want to appear too showy so a tuxedo or 3 piece suit is probably not called for. You should dress business casual and carry a suit jacket with you. Do not wear old rags like tshirt or torn jeans. Your clothes should be neat and pressed. You should be freshly shaved and your hair should be in place. Overall, make sure to wear a smile!

2. Bring a gift. If you are meeting at her home a gift of wine, alcohol, or dessert such as cake is appropriate. Flowers are also always appreciated, no matter where you choose to meet. In russia men give the gift of flowers to women freely and give them to russian women often. There are a few rules of flower giving though- flowers must be given in groups of odd numbers. Flowers in even numbers are striclty reserved for funerals and it is considered a very bad omen to break with this russian tradition. The bad omen superstition of giving a russian woman flowers in an even number is so strong in russia and ukraine that most flower vendors will refuse to sell you flowers paired in such a way. Carnations are also usually considered a funeral flower and should be avoided. Additionally yellow flowers should also be avoided. While the yellow flower superstition / bad omen isn't as wide spread and adhered to as feircly as the even / odd number of flowers custom, in many parts of russia and other areas of the former soviet union yellow flowers are considered a symbol of infidelity or signify the end of an affair.

To really impress the beautiful russian woman you are greeting bring her a gift from your home country (it doesn't have to be expensive, a small trinket will due, but not something too touristy / cheap). Something that is unique to your country of origin, be it New Zealand, Canada, America, Australia or Europe. This is sure to impress your russian gal and her kinsmen as well as I promise you it will be something she will want to share with others.



3. The Dos and Don'ts of shaking hands. Introductions are important in Russian and Ukrainian society. You should not extend greetings or shake hands over the door way, you should enter first before this is begun. Shaking hands is important, and should be done with bare hands, but should primarily be done when meeting men. Unless your russian lady offers, shaking hands is considered masculine. Instead you should lightly kiss her cheeks, right, left and right again or vice versa. Kisses should be done in threes, but be gentle and light. No one wants a wet pucker.

4. Table Manners. Russian, Ukrainian and most former soviet cuisine is usually heavy in snacks / finger foods. A large reason for this being is it is considered good etiquette to take a bite of food between sips of liquor or other alcohol such as beer or wine. If at a restaurant and your pretty russian lady orders several items such as this she is not being greedy but keeping with tradition. It is also considered rude to not offer to share any finger foods / snacks you may have ordered for yourself.

If dining at the home of your russian bride or her family and friends be sure to accept all food and drink that is offered to you. To refuse is considered rude and disrespectful to your hosts. Generousity in hosting is highly stressed in russian and ukrainian culture, so it is important and essential to good russian etiquette that you allow them to do such.

As a dinner guest in a russian or ukrainian home be prepared to make toasts. Toasting does take on a traditional pattern you should be aware of- the host or hosts of the meal have the honor of making the first toast, which usually will be in honor of you, the guest. As the guest it is your duity to reciprocate the honor of the toast by making the second toast to your hosts. The third toast given is to be in celebration of the russian women present, you can toast your special russian girl, the women of the household, and / or female friends and colleagues at the gathering.

5. Saying goodbye. Leaving, like greeting, is done indoors before you exit and again never over the threshold. Be prepared to be kissed by your host one to three times as you depart. Also another kissing tip- never kiss your russian woman on her forehead. Like even numbers of flowers, the act of kissing a slav on his or her forehead is reserved for funerals.

A good semi- formal russian goodbye is "Do svidaniya!". Pronounced duh svee-dah-nee-ye, it literally means "Until the next meeting."

Tips to Emailing Russian Women

Your English to Russian Email & Communication Guide



When it comes to communicating with the beautiful russian lady of your choice most of it will come naturally. There are however a few things one should keep in mind as some things do not translate as well from culture to culture. You will find that most netiquette still applies, you should always be courteous and TYPING IN ALL CAPS is still considered shouting, etc, but there are a few things that may be second nature when emailing your friends that you should avoid when communicating with russian women overseas. We've already covered below how to make a dynamite introduction, here are a few tips on continuing your communication.

Honesty- I cannot stress enough, honesty is the best policy. Remember, you are looking for someone who will be your life partner, you want to find a good russian woman who will love you for all your good points as well as faults. As they come to say, a woman who will love you "warts and all". If you hide something from your russian lady, or stretch the truth to your ukranian babe, eventually they will find out and when they do they will most likely feel very much betrayed. The most important part about building a house is laying a solid foundation, and your future relationship with your russian bride is much the same way. Lay a solid foundation by being honest about yourself, who you are, and what you expect from the russian woman you want to marry. Uncovering dishonesty in the principal stages of your communication can cause your foundation of your relationship to crack and crumble.

Internet Slang / Chatroom Shorthand- the majorty of women in russia and ukraine on the web are still relativly new to the internet. Phrases which are all to familiar to us- "LOL" "BRB" "TTYL", etc, do not translate well and may confuse the russian women you are talking with. I'm sure you can remember a time when all these shorthand terms were new to you, so you can understand how the russian woman you are communicating with might feel when coming across them. Also with the added struggle of translation it is important to write out everything you would like to say.

Common Words- This goes hand in hand with the above. When communicating with your special russian girl you should try to stick to words that are commonly used in the english language and avoid slang or other words not commonly used by the average person. This is not to say that you should "dumb your communications down". Education is a strong point in the former soviet union where the percentage of college educated adults is double the current united states numbers. The woman you are speaking with is more than likely college educated, I reccomend this for ease of translation. You should try to be as concise as possible when communicating your thoughts to your potential russian bride.

Emoticons- Over time many of us have developed the habbit of adding little smiley faces to our communication. This is mostly a western thing. Faces like :) ;) :P just come across as odd punctuation in an international email and also may confuse the woman you are interested in.

Coming on Strong- You want to avoid getting too "personal" too soon. As much as you may be attracted to the beautiful russian woman you are talking to, you should wait until you have well established a good rapport before asking any questions that would be considered deeply personal or sexual in nature. Remember that the russian women you are talking to should be good intentioned, marriage minded women who are a little old fashioned when it comes to family values and social morals.

Why Russian Women use Marriage Agencies

To understand why women in russia and ukraine use marriage agencies you first must understand a little more about Russia herself, the old and the new.



Because of the iron curtain of communism Russia has been for the most part closed off to the western world for the better part of the last century. Because of this for many years when one in the western world envisioned "russian women" they would picture women similar to matryoshka- the russian nesting dolls. Stout peasant women in babushkas with worn faces from working the land.

It wasn't until the fall of communism that nations of the former soviet union were able to open their boarders to tourists and other facets of western media. It was then that it became known a truer picture of russian society and what you currently know russian girl to look like.



Even though there is a higher international interest in russian women the percentage of
russian ladies searching for love online is no different than the percentage of women using online dating in other parts of the world. The difference with the online dating culture for
russian woman is the emphasis on making international contact and the lack of availability of internet access.

While it may be hard for westerners to imagine, waking up and checking your email from the comfort of your own home is a luxury rarely seen in the vast majority of territory formerly occupied by the USSR. Even in larger cities such as Moscow, one of the most expensive places to live, personal computers and internet access are not common place and are not affordable for the majority of single women living in the city. Internet service providers have only started to see real growth in the last few years and even in big cities such as Moscow and St. Petersburg to get access to the internet one can expect to pay over $100 on a monthly basis. When you consider the majority of the population is non metro, women living in other cities in russia and ukraine, internet access is even fewer and farther between. The culture and technology gap caused by the years the country was sheilded from western culture and that the land covers 11 time zones makes widespread internet access a difficult and timely undertaking.

This is why russian women rely on marriage agencies. Agencies provide women access to internet services- the ability to post their profile online, read and answer email, and a place to chat and get to know the men who are interested in them. They allow women to communicate in ways they would not be able to otherwise. Dating agencies bridge the gap, offering everything from translation services for slavic women still learning english to assisting western men when they have decided to visit their future bride in her home country.

Someday russian technology will catch up to it's western counterparts. Russia's borders were closed for nearly 70 years and the cold war ended only less than 20 years years ago. Countries of the former soviet union are catching up but because of the lack of existing infrastructure for such technologies it is a long and difficult process. I think if growth continues to show positive improvement that day will eventualy come, but it is still a generation away for most of the russian world at large.

Finding a russian bride- why search the web

A question / comment I see posted often is:

"Why use an internet site to find a russian girl? Why not just buy a plane ticket and go to the country and if you see a nice girl, just make conversation with her in the normal way, treat her nicely, make her feel really special, and take it from there?"

The main problem with this logic is it's based on luck and chance. First off, travel to Russia is not cheap. If you would like to visit Russia or travel to the Ukraine expect to pay a few thousand dollars. While I do advocate traveling to Russia and spending as much time as possible with a russian girl in her home country before you commit to them, it is important you have selected and prequalified the women you would like to meet overseas before you travel or you could be just throwing your time and money to the wind.

The chances of meeting a beautiful russian woman on the street that you would want to spend the rest of your life with is slim. In theory this may sound probable, but when you think of it in more realistic terms it is easy to see how impractical this idea really is. How many times have you been out to the mall and how many times have you struck up a conversation with a woman that led to a serious relationship?

Also put yourself in the woman's shoes, would you be willing to marry and move to a foreign country with someone you just met? How long would you stay in country on this trip- a week, a month? Even then the chances are more than slender that an attractive woman you met by chance would be ready to make that commitment so fast.

Simply put- traveling and hoping to meet your ideal mate by the luck of the draw is a bad investment of your time and money. It is important you take the time to make proper introductions and form an open line of communication through chat and email before you commit to traveling abroad and meeting your lady love in person. Also this is online dating, so keep in mind chatting and planning a date with more than one woman is not a bad idea. Don't be so cheap as to take more than one woman out at a time, this will most certainly reduce your chances with both women, but keep your options open until you feel that you have found your true soul mate.